Between you and me, I hadn’t had a woman since the Obama Administration, and it was nice not being lonely for a change, and I’d worried I was going to spend the rest of my life alone, and some nights, Jamie would stay over, and she would sleep in my bed (her body so warm, a radiator), wearing nothing but her CPAP machine

Katherine takes a large sip of bourbon. The little garland of lip prints decorating the rim of the glass is almost complete.  She must be trying to make it, there’s no way it’s an accident. She fixes me with her eyes.  “R. U. N. V. S.” 

I pull my eyes away and look at Robert. He’s staring at Emily’s legs. 

Sonny placed the package on the slats between them, untied the strings and turned back the canvas. Seeing it now for the first time after many years, Sonny was struck by the bayonet’s efficiency of design. It was long, about twenty-five inches from grip to tip, to enable fighting at a distance.

When I think about it now, I chalk it up to one of those youthful experiences you wince at later — not that it’s something I’m embarrassed by, Karson lied. And not that I’m sorry it happened or anything. Because we did have a good time for a while there, didn’t we?

Constance flung the ladle against the cast iron pot and a hollow echo and the slosh of dirtied water followed her like footsteps out of the room. She slammed the front door behind her. When her father opened it to search after her, he was only met with an accusation of trees—all straight-spined and unwilling to move out of his sightline. He wouldn’t find her standing at the threshold. He wouldn’t chase her either.

It was one in a row of identical doors with identical signs, in front of which sat patients and their relatives. The younger played with their mobile phones, the older amused themselves the old way – by talking. I joined the latter, both on the grounds of my age and inclination. We started with exchanging illnesses and hospital experiences. There was more than a whiff of competition between us, with the grand prix going to the most ill patient.

But what can you do when you’ve ruined the one great love you had because you wanted too much of it? We held out for twelve years before getting horny over nothing, a rock in the sky. The foolishness of human beings respects no boundaries.

As he leaned in, his rifle clattered against the floor of the canoe. Crystal reached for it, a motion Bobby interpreted as consent or surrender. He pressed his lips to hers, his tongue poked out and searched for an opening. Crystal could barely feel it. She felt like she was drifting under the tow of a heavy tide, submerged as the waves hissed over her head.

“Well, spandex is not so much a fabric as a lifestyle. You don’t need spandex to go biking; you need spandex to fulfill a posture. And what is this posture, you ask? This is the posture of the well brought-up, well-adjusted, middle class, which says ‘well’ when you ask them how they are, and scorns anyone who says, ‘I’m good’. It’s the posture of the braindead…”

I’ve decided something: My friends are weird. Who does something like that at a bar?  I always thought after you had a kid, you would be extra proper. No joking. No laughing. No, doing crazy stuff like crawling under a table to get away from being squished into a corner by your two friends. Or, for that matter—standing on a booth seat flapping your arms trying to get a person’s attention.