Whine
It was Jesus I swear I saw behind
Miss Hooker's desk on the wall, I mean that
He was on the wall on the Crucifix,
I mean that He was on the Crucifix
behind the desk, Miss Hooker's desk wasn't,
wasn't on the wall I mean but any
-way I'm failing third grade of regular
school again but here at church I can't lose
because I pray and pray and really read
my Bible though there are plenty of words
I don't understand but I have perfect
attendance at Sunday School so if I
croak in the next second or moment or
whatever's shorter than a moment then
I'll wake up expired in Beulah Land, that's
what we often call Heaven in our church,
not that Heaven's in our church exactly
and In the beginning was the Word so
you'd think folks wouldn't stumble over
theirs, their words that is, but like I say or
mean to say I may be flunking school but
it won't matter much if I don't go to
Hell when I'm dead, I told Miss Hooker so,
my Sunday School teacher but she told me
No, Gale, if you're not working hard enough\
then you'll go to Hell, you'll merit Heaven
--merit means deserve--you'll go to Heaven,
she says, only if your brain is compromised,
she means only if my stupidity
is come by honestly so maybe I'll
never graduate from high school, not to
mention from life to Life Everlasting,
but Miss Hooker says that the good news is
I'll go on eternally but the bad
news if that it will probably be in Hell
and I'd better practice taking the test
right now so I walked home from Sunday School
with my head hanging but by the time I
stepped onto the back porch of our house and
smelled the bacon and eggs for lunch I for
-got all about regular school and God
and Jesus and the Holy Ghost at church
and Sunday School, I was in between some
-where, the place I think most folks call life or
to me more especially living and
after lunch I changed my clothes and went out
to play with the dog and we don't even
have one. His name's Caesar. He's my best friend.
All You Can Eat
I love Jesus though we've never met, I
wonder if He'd say the same about me
but at Sunday School I'm told that He
knows all about me or at least more than
I do about Him but they also say
that when I die I'll know everything, which
must mean even though nobody says it
that I'll be God Himself or at least as
wise or is it knowledgeable and He
will become me, I mean we'll merge and then
there are the other souls up in Heaven,
we'll all squeeze together so after Sun
-day School this morning I hit Miss Hooker
with it, that God's everything at least
up in the Good Place but before she said
anything else she said Gale, what about
us ordinary folks down here--we're still
alive but not eternally, of course
--what do you make of life down here, she meant
Earth, so I said I dunno, ma'am, maybe
we're pieces of the pie and when we come
together we're one big pizza and she
smiled and said Dear boy, you'll be a poet
one day and I said, No thank you, ma'am, but
I'd rather be dead, just inspired is what
I'd call that but I still can't tell whether
it's from Heaven or Hell but like I say
when I die I'll know and as for passing
on the information, I still haven't
figured that part out yet, somebody took
more than his share, maybe. God gets hungry.
Way
Jesus I love but there's not much choice, down
at Sunday School they swear that He's the Son
of God so there it is, I guess those folks
would know and I'm only ten years old so
before I die, it might happen any
time, I'd better get saved so that I don't
go to Hell and burn for Eternity,
Eternity's an infinite number
of forevers, so it's a mighty long
spell indeed and even though Jesus died
on the cross, make that the Crucifix, He
lives up in Heaven and it's for my sins
He did so that when I do too I'll live
a better life in Heaven, don't ask how
or don't ask me but just remember that for
eternal life you have to pass, it's called
a paradox in regular school but
at church-service and Sunday School it's known
as the Way, or part of it, sometimes I
wonder why I was ever born for this
or to this or maybe I should say in
-to this, religion's nutty sometimes but
if you aren't, aren't religious I mean, then
you go to the Hell of what other folks
think and think as well about you and I
guess I just want to get along, I don't
want to cause any problems, I just want
to be happy and live long even though
when I'm dead it won't have made much difference
if I live to 11 or 90
and then when I'm dead I guess I'll take it
from there, wing it you might say, like angels
do, ha ha, but I'm pretty sure that if
there are no comic books in the After
-life or tacos or Raisinets or ice
cream cake or Camaros or skateboards or
gerbils or Siamese fighting fish or
Hardy Boys mystery stories or Thor
or Justice League of America or
fielder's gloves with the slit for the middle
finger sewn right in or is that sewn right
out and root beer and Flintstones Vitamins
then I'm not cooperating, I'll go
on strike in Heaven, I'll turn in my wings
and harp and refuse to wear my white robe,
I'll just hang around my cloud naked and
if I get demoted to Hell for that
it's for a good cause, I'll do bad some good.
