Who knew?
Who knew
Death’s next meal
was in my kitchen
making tea for me?

A year after you left
I look at the horizon
And think, ‘How do I feel today?’
It’s a year since you left-
me bereft; my eyes stung
so much; I thought the salt in my tears
would make me go blind. My heart pricked-

Like it had been plucked off my chest
and left a hole so big; I thought
the tear would never mend.
My liver took over,
turned my blood bitter
And yellow-green-

It seeped out of my gall
into my mouth;
made me nauseous;
I was frightened
I built a wall
So high; I was trapped

I got charred
By my own breath
Maybe, I died.
And now I’m reborn-
I feel as fresh as a morning bloom,
as bright as a coloured plume

I feel like the dawn
over the ocean
after a storm-
filled with hope and wonder.
How did I get here?
I gaze at my reflection-

in the waters lapping my feet.
They come and go
I search for scars
I find none.
Staring back at me
I see a phoenix shimmering.

Making peace with the pain
And you think you’re alright-
that you’ve crossed the bridge,
and you’ve managed to get out
of the fire unscathed.
But you realize it was only
your mind and body taking lead,
numbing your heart
so, it didn’t act up

when the curtains were raised
and it was time to perform.
You, were always so good at it-
getting into the character
that it didn’t feel like an act
even to you
and you believed
it was over-

that you’d gotten past the grief
and the pain.
Then the curtains closed,
there was nobody-
no audience, no critics
no fans. Just you-at peace,
for it had gone well like you’d wanted;
and tired, from all the wanting.

You close your eyes, but you can’t
because-
your mind and body did a great job
of make- belief
but your heart – it’s acting up now
clenching your insides -and saying,
‘It’s not that easy; it takes time
to make peace with the pain.’